Author: MJ Romeo

Two days ago, as a nation, we celebrated Memorial Day. Like many of us, I did some fun things – beach, pool, concerts, dinner with friends etc.

I also took time to reflect. Memorial Day has that kind of effect on me. One thing I did was attend a special service for all of those who lost their lives in service to this country. The ultimate sacrifice. It was poignant, powerful and humbling. I am a grateful American.

With my clients, I often challenge them to take time reflect. For some, you would think I was asking them to do something really dramatic, like jump off a building. I am kidding of course, but the concept of slowing down and building time into your schedule to regularly reflect is foreign to many of us. We are running too fast, simply too busy to breathe, think, ponder, question, challenge…reflect.

When was the last time you gave yourself time to reflect?

Two weeks ago I wrote about some changes to the job market. Yes, some things have changed but much has not.

It is still the candidate’s job to convince the hiring manager that they really WANT the job, that they are serious and committed to joining the team. One of my very senior clients was being aggressively recruited for a big job, and she did not think (because she was being recruited) that she needed to send thank you emails reiterating her qualifications and interest in the job after meeting several people at the firm, including the chairman of the board! Follow-up matters.

And it is management’s job to on-board employees in an intentional way. Another client had a new employee all lined up and ready to go. The Friday before her Monday start date, she sent an email saying she was taking another job. My client was blown away! Another thing that has not changed is that companies need to balance between getting new employees excited about their company/job AND helping them appreciate the commitment they are making to the company if they join. Understanding the “why” matters.

With all the technology, tools and social media available to job candidates, has the job search process really changed? Yes and no.

I’m coaching some MBA students and others who are actively searching for jobs, and it surprises me that the process – with all the technology at our fingertips – is still about networking, relationships and connections.

Less than 10% of jobs are gotten through recruiters and while job sites like aggregator Indeed provide a lot of information about available jobs, networking is still critically important. “Networking is vital for those who want to move up in their career. According to HubSpot, 85% of jobs are filled through networking. In fact, according to CNBC, 70% of jobs are never published publicly,” according to ApolloTechnical.

One of the biggest mistakes that young people make is that they confuse meeting people with building relationships. It is the relationships that you develop along the way that matter most.

When was the last time you walked into a room to get something and forgot what you went in there to get? Recently, Elizabeth Bernstein wrote an article about memory for the WSJ, and reports that “short term, and goes on to report that “short, temporary instances of forgetfulness are happening to more of us these days” according to memory experts. Why?

We are experiencing a tremendous amount of change in our world, chronic and cumulative stress is not helping either. As one expert said: “our brains are like computers with too many tabs open right now. This slows down our processing power, and memory is one of the areas that falters.”

The advice? 1. Don’t force yourself to remember, it has the opposite effect. 2. Stop multitasking, you need to commit it to memory in the first place. 3. Help your brain calm, take a walk or meditate. 4. Be socially present, it is such a gift we give others.

Burnout is on my mind. One of my long time clients is an amazing writer, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Recently she started coaching programs on burnout, and quickly learned that it is not her thing. Her insight… “Burnout happens in part because of bad managers. Management is more art than science.”

I think that is absolutely true. Smart leaders know that developing new and mid-level managers is critical to the success of the business. I remember years ago, when I was in a leadership role at Working Mother which published an annual list of the 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers. Renowned companies like Deloitte, IBM, Johnson & Johnson and Unilever were on the list. However, women at these very same companies made it crystal clear to me that even their companies had bad managers.

As leaders, invest in your new and mid-level managers and weed out the bad ones. Not everyone is cut out for management!

One of the things I love about my role as an Executive Coach is that I coach a variety of professionals – senior leaders, entrepreneurs, C-Suite execs, mid-level managers, and even a few people under 25. “Variety is the spice of life”, or so I have heard. As a result, I feel very plugged into what professionals are experiencing right now.

These days, as the Covid pandemic shifts to this new phase of being endemic, many of us realize that along with all of this change, we as individuals have changed. One of my clients no longer has tolerance for an unhealthy work environment, another cherishes her time working remotely and no longer commuting, and still another is re-evaluating how far up the corporate ladder she wants to climb, or maybe she wants to stop climbing all together. For some, money no longer is the end goal but having a life worth living is.

What does this mean for each of us individually, for our families and for our  companies who are trying to hire people like us?

Did you ever work for someone who makes you feel valued? Who makes you feel special? With The Great Resignation in full swing, companies are losing talent left and right. Monday’s WSJ talked about tech companies moving to cash bonuses instead of stock options. Of course, that makes sense, cash is immediate but is cash the only thing that will entice a good employee to stay? There is a real lack of talent in many industries. How do you keep your employees from answering those constant calls from recruiters? How do you get them to stay?

One of my clients is struggling with this and came to the conclusion that yes, money matters. Make sure that your team members (and you too) are being compensated at market levels. It is important to note that there are many other ways to get your employees to remain on the job and highly motivated. First, we talked about really understanding each of his DRs (direct reports) and what motivates them. People are different. And if you don’t know what motivates them, you have to figure it out.

Emotional Intelligence is a deep, rich topic. One of the components of EI is inspirational leadership. This competency is especially important today as so many professionals are disenfranchised about work. Many managers I coach are feeling warn down by their team members who are underperforming and don’t seem to care about the quality of their work.

Or do they? As managers, it is our job to hire well. That is the first step. Then, we need to figure out, for each of our team members, what they need from us to help them succeed. One client managed a woman who went to him frequently with problems and no solutions. It drove him crazy. Time and time again he asked her to bring solutions. She didn’t. After we dug deeper into the situation, he realized that she did not have the skills. He needed to teach her, create a safe space for her to fail and inspire her to grow. As a leader, how effective are you at inspiring others?

Boundaries. I am hearing that word a lot lately. My clients want boundaries. According to Webster’s Dictionary, a boundary is: “something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.”

With remote work, many of us have lost our boundaries – have lost that “fixed limit”. The commute to and from work used to be a buffer that separated work and home, and now it is gone. Technology blurs boundaries all the time, we can be reached anytime, anywhere.

How are your boundaries? Is your work blending into and possibly negatively impacting your home life?

When coaching clients, we talk about various tactics to honor boundaries, such as:

• communicate your expectations clearly about what you can and can’t do
• delegate to others, learn to let go a bit
• prioritize yourself, your health and what matters to you
• set limits, such as not taking any calls after 6PM, maybe with one exception per week
• practice saying no graciously “I have 5 projects right now, I can start that one on March 1st.”

What works for you?

Since last month, many of us started to talk about how we planned to make a shift in one way or another in the new year. A surprising number started to talk about a word that would be their mantra for 2022. One word that would inspire them, challenge them or drive them forward.

One of my client’s said her word is … “no”. She emphatically stated that she will say no to people and things that take her off course. She wants, and feels that she needs to set boundaries so that she can live a less stressful life.

Another client’s word? “Impact”. She is on a journey to make a larger impact in at her new job, as she leads a team and chooses to live a full life outside of her career.

And a dear friend and fellow Executive Coach said his word is “clarity”. He has a lot on his plate and said using the word “clarity” will help to push him forward.

Choosing the right word can bring you clarity too.