A Great Tip to Help You Grow
“Feedback is a gift”. We’ve all heard that expression. It took me years to embrace it. When working at big corporations, the dreaded annual review would occupy my mind for weeks. I would fixate on what were perceived negative comments, even if they were few and far between.
Back then, I was looking at feedback all wrong! Honest feedback helps us grow personally and professionally. It helps us see ourselves from a different angle. It is so valuable.
Now, I ask for feedback often from clients, colleagues and friends. I ask: “what did you like, what can I do better” all the time. Client surveys improve my group coaching programs and workshops. While we are all surveyed to death, feedback matters.
#WiseWords
“We all need people who will give us feedback.
That’s how we improve.”
Bill Gates
Worth the Share
How do you give someone else good feedback?
This book expert provides some great advice about how to give feedback and explains why most of us do it poorly. Written by David Bradford, Ph.D. and Carole Robin, Ph.D., it provides a road map. They talk about three different areas of understanding: Intent, behavior and impact.
What really intrigued me is that they talk about WHY feedback often backfires, use a very useful tennis analogy to bring it to life, and also explain why kids can often give better feedback than adults. Here is the ARTICLE from the book Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues.
And Finally...
Here is an easy rule of thumb to follow: When you want to get feedback, ask for feedback from people you trust, ask them to be as specific as possible, then say: “thank you”. That’s it. Don’t get defensive. If you feel like the feedback was useful, incorporate it. If not, don’t use it. You get to choose.
When giving feedback, It’s important to be clear. Don’t sugarcoat it, you’ll confuse your colleague. I like this framework in an ARTICLE in HBR:
- Describe the behavior you want to reinforce or correct
- Explain the impact of the behavior
- Outline what you would like them to do
Continue growing. Ask for feedback.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Mary Jo