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In this article, written by Kendra Cherry, MSEd, the author does a good job of providing an overview of resilience – the types of resilience such as mental or physical, the causes of personality traits that help us remain “unflappable in the face of challenge”, the impact of having resilience and how to become more resilient.

She also shared that people who are resilient have a set of characteristics that include:

• A survivor mentality – knowing you can make it through tough situations
• Effective emotional regulation – the ability to manage emotions in the face of stress
• Feeling in control – feeling that our actions play a part in determining outcomes
• Problem solving skills – looking rationally at a situation and coming up with options
• Self-compassion – the ability to treat yourself with kindness, especially when it is difficult
• Social support – having a solid network and being able to ask for help

Read: How Resilience Helps You Cope With Life’s Challenges including the tips on how to bounce back from hardship, they are also quite useful. My favorite technique is “reframing”, something I talk about often with my coaching clients.

In this article from Chief Executive, the author, former CEO Jay Sidhu, addresses the subject of leadership versus management. In Essential Lessons for Leadership, he said that “leaders must:

1. have a clear vision, mission, goals and strategic plan to achieve those goals with alignment throughout the organization;
2. master their internal environment through authentic self-assessment of strengths and areas for improvement;
3. master their external environment, i.e., how are the economy, competition, and customer needs, etc., changing and impacting performance; and
4. be passionate about continual improvement.”

The fourth bullet point really struct home with me as an executive coach. Beyond building a personal board of directors that he met with frequently, and taking leadership development programs, it sounds like he remained intentional about his own personal and professional development throughout his career. He also spoke about “understanding your strengths and weaknesses”, learning more about himself and being open to change. Read the full article for more insights.

Personal change is tough. Convincing others to change can feel impossible. I am thrilled to welcome back Deb Graham, who shares with us how to uncover and mitigate resistance in the workplace. Here is her article, Unmasking Resistance: Unlocking the Secrets to Successful Change…

Have you ever experienced that frustrating moment when you’re ready to embark

on an exciting journey, only to find your partner dragging their feet? Well, it’s not just a personal phenomenon – resistance can rear its head in various aspects of our lives, including the workplace. You’ve likely seen one or more of these subtle forms of resistance. What makes them so challenging to identify is that they can be easily explained away.

The Deceptive Smile and Nod:
Picture this: you present your groundbreaking idea, and your colleagues nod along, seemingly agreeing with you. However, these nods might not necessarily translate into genuine agreement. More often than not, they simply indicate that your message has been heard, while the actual buy-in is still lacking.

The Elusive Follow-Through:
You’ve managed to secure apparent agreement from your team, but progress remains stagnant. They constantly find excuses for not taking action, claiming they’re too busy or promising to do it later. But you wonder, are they legit busy or simply waiting you out?

The Absent Attendees:
Frequently missing or cancelling meetings about the change may be a sign of resistance. When individuals fail to show up it may be an indication that they are intentionally avoiding participation. If your boss frequently reschedules, she may be signaling that it’s not really a priority.

The Vocal Complainers and Confronters:
Sometimes, resistance takes a more overt form, with individuals openly complaining or confronting the proposed changes. While these expressions of discontent can be challenging, they provide valuable insight into the reasons behind the resistance. By engaging in open dialogue and active listening, it becomes possible to understand the concerns and discuss options that everyone can get behind.

Perhaps the most treacherous aspect of resistance is its ability to remain concealed. Just because no one is explicitly talking about it doesn’t mean everyone is committed to the change. Unaddressed resistance festers and becomes deeply entrenched, posing a significant obstacle to successful change implementation. Instead of persistently pushing forward, taking a step back and engaging in meaningful dialogue can work wonders. By asking questions, actively listening, and genuinely understanding the perspectives of others, we can diminish emotional resistance and identify logical hurdles that require course correction.

Digging a bit deeper into the remote work world, as it exists today, I found two competing lists of the best remote companies to work for.

Forbes published the Top 30 Rankings from Flexjobs, and only included jobs that are fully remote, with no restrictions of city, state or region. They also talked about the growth of remote jobs in finance and marketing.

I confess, I am unfamiliar with many of these companies, including their top picks Wikemedia Foundation, Protocol Labs and Kraken. Check out their full list HERE.

Indeed, the online search firm, published a very different list called 20 of the Best Remote Work Companies in 2023. On this list you’ll find several tech and blue-chip companies including Microsoft, Intuit, Meta, Johnson&Johnson, and SAP. Each company’s listing includes a Work Happiness Score and a Flexibility Score. If you are in the job market, and want to be fully remote, check them out.

Do you have a sponsor or two? We often talk about mentors, and many of us have business or executive coaches, but do you have a sponsor? It continually surprises me that most of my clients are unfamiliar with the concept of having a sponsor.

While a mentor shares experiences, offers moral support, listens and might share advice, a sponsor is an advocate, someone who intentionally brings up your name when you are not in the room. Someone who says, “what about Michelle” for a stretch assignment or when talking about a bigger job or promotion is a sponsor.

In this article, What Great Sponsors Do Differently, the authors talk about the relationship from the perspective of the sponsor and share six tips which I have included below. What strikes me about this list is that it is the ideal scenario. In a fast paced business world, the most important role of the sponsor is that the sponsor acts on behalf of the sponsee (#3) by promoting them to other high level executives. Sometimes we have sponsors, and are not even aware that they are advocating for us and our work.

If you are a sponsor, and have a formal structure to your sponsor/sponsee relationship, here are some tips to maximize it. Great sponsors:

1. Show up – they attend regularly scheduled meeting and respect the time of their sponsee.
2. Are patient and without judgement – and invest in really understanding their sponsee.
3. Act outside the one-on-one meetings with their sponsees – and advocate for their professional growth with assignments and promotions.
4. Seek out relevant information transparently – to better know and understand their sponsee.
   Offer feedback and provide psychological safety – and are candid while providing a welcoming space to talk, listen and learn.
5. Talk to each other about sponsorship – and the impact sponsoring has on the organization as a whole.

Check out What Great Sponsors Do Differently to learn more.

My former partner at a communications company we launched in NYC was a theatre director. Ellie Heyman often spoke about “business speak” and how it gets in the way of communication. I agree.

On the lighter side of all the job-elimination news out there, this refreshing opinion piece

from Fast Company breaks down some of the prevalent business speak we hear today – in job descriptions and in-person communication.

Written by Whitney Posterick, it shines a light on the absurdity of it all. Her point is that jargon filled job descriptions turn off potential employees. She focuses on stakeholder, cross-functional and multi-level marketing in her piece. I would add to that, the acronyms that companies use ad nauseam such as KPI, SEM, POC, TOFU, MOFU and BOFU.

Take a minute a check out Want to hire someone creative? Don’t do any of these things, and please, take the author’s advice to heart.

The other day, there was an essay in the Wall Street Journal entitled: Our Hesitations in Speech Are Much More Than Filler. Written by Dr. Fridland who is a professor of Linguistics at the University of Nevada, Reno, she studied when people use um and uh in speech, referring to them as filled pauses.

What she learned is that people use um or uh when they are deciding between competing

word options, formulating what they want to say, signaling that your brain is processing what to say and giving them time to think. She also mentioned other research from the 90s on um and uh that shows the two “words” are used in different contexts, um to signal a longer pause and uh for a shorter pause.

But here’s the thing: so what? All of Dr. Fridland’s research and conclusions are rooted in the study of linguistics, which is all quite interesting, BUT when talking about effective communication, um and uh are a big challenge for the listener. Using them is a habit, and with effort, you can eliminate the use of um, uh, like, so or any other filler word.

In fact, pausing is far better than hearing filler words that add no value. When you do not know what word to choose or want to give the listener time to process what you are saying, PAUSE. It will make you sound infinitely more polished and professional. Filler words are distracting, they dilute the message and make the audience work harder to hear what the speaker is actually trying to say.

As promised, from my last newsletter, here is Part 2 of How to WIN at Leading Change by Deb Graham. SCARF is such a GREAT framework, worth considering and implementing whether you are leading a change initiative or not. Read on:

Expecting pushback on an upcoming change? It’s normal to face resistance, as people naturally want to protect the status quo.

This reaction is not planned, but rather an emotional response to perceived threats. It’s important to understand how people might react to change, as it varies depending on the individual. One useful framework is the SCARF model, developed by Dr. David Rock and the Neuroleadership Institute, which identifies five common triggers:

Status: I am valuable
People want to feel valued and important. If Status is their trigger, they want to stand out from the crowd. Changes that negatively impact their title, office size, involvement in decisions, or perception of expertise can threaten their status.

Certainty: I know where I stand or what will happen to me
People want to know what’s going on and what to expect. Uncertainty around roles,
responsibilities, and the outcome of decisions can create anxiety. Change inevitably brings lots of uncertainty. Providing information such as the date the changes will be announced and what isn’t changing, can provide some stability and certainty.

Autonomy: I have a choice
People want to have control over their work. Micromanaging can threaten autonomy, while providing space and trust can increase it. Changes that limit autonomy may be met with resistance. If Autonomy is their dominant trigger, they will want to know whether the new way of doing things will give them more autonomy or less. Involving them will be critical to finding solutions that work for all involved.

Relatedness: I belong
People want to feel they belong and have supportive relationships. Changes that affect team composition or dynamics can create discomfort and resistance. Opportunities to get to know each other can help build trust. Also, leaders can use language such as “we” and “us” instead of “you,” “me,” and “they,” which signals a clear boundary between groups.

Fairness: I am treated fairly and others are treated fairly
People want to be treated fairly and perceive impartiality. Changes that seem unfair can trigger resistance. Lack of transparency implies you have something to hide, thus triggering the sense that things may not be fair.

Understanding these triggers and addressing them proactively can help reduce resistance. Providing clear communication, involving employees in decision-making, and promoting a sense of fairness can help create a smoother transition.

I am thrilled to share an article, written by Deb Graham called: How to WIN at Leading Change, to get you into the topic of the work we will be doing together:

Have you ever wondered why people resist change? According to Gartner, 45% of HR leaders say their employees are fatigued from

so much change.* Yes, it’s possible that people are tired. It’s also likely that our approach to change isn’t working. In our hurry to implement another new program, policy, or strategy shift, we lean on telling people what to do and assume they will do it. That may work for a bit but as soon as we move on to the next priority, people revert to the old way of doing things. Instead of telling people what to do, WIN.

Why – Do I know why this change matters and how it fits in with the other changes that are happening? When the process, system, or who I need to work with is different than the norm, it takes extra time. I already have a lot to do so why is this important? Also, what’s in it for me? Is my job going to get easier? Will I learn a skill that makes me more marketable? Or will there be job eliminations? The answer to how change will impact me can motivate or demotivate.

Involve – If you’re changing a process or system I’ve been using for years, it’s likely I have some ideas to make it better. Ask my opinion. Involve me in the discussion. Let me know you hear my concerns. People like to influence change but they resist having change done to them. If you can’t involve people in ‘what’ is changing, involve them in the ‘how’. Be clear what can be influenced and what can not.

Needs – My response may be a reaction to how the change will affect me. Our brains react defensively when we feel threatened. In contrast, our brains receive a blast of dopamine when we feel rewarded. The Neuroleadership Institute describes five domains of social threat and reward that trigger our behaviors. Our sensitivity to these five SCARF domains varies from person to person, they are: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Restriction and Fairness. Autonomy may be a big trigger for me but Certainty might be more important to you. When you understand and meet an individual’s specific SCARF need, their threat response is calmed. We’ll dig deeper into SCARF in How to Win, Part 2.

You may be thinking ‘this takes time’. And you’re right, it does. When it comes to organizational change, going fast may feel good, but it’s rarely sustainable. Taking the time to engage people and meet their needs ensures a sustainable WIN.

*Gartner: Top 5 Priorities for HR Leaders in 2023

To learn more about our work in business transformation click here, or to learn more about Deb, click here.

In this month’s issue of Harvard Business Review, they featured an article “Beware of the Culture of Busyness”.

Since busyness is not celebrated in other countries like Italy for example, this quote sums up the challenge that busyness creates in our culture: “Busyness has become a status symbol.

People also consider those who exert high effort to be “morally admirable,” regardless of their output.”

To solve for this chronic problem with busyness, the author Adam Waltz suggests five things:

• Reward output not just activity: while this can be tricky, it is worth determining how you can adjust goals so that team members are compensated for what they actually deliver.
• Assess whether your organization is generating deep work and eliminating low value work: one of my clients is focused on this at his company. It was a real shift in their culture that is paying dividends.
• Force people off the clock: time-off is critical to living a full, healthy life. Detaching can be difficult for some but learning to take time off is good for your mental and physical health.
• Model the right behavior: a client, who was the executive director of a non-profit, took a three-week trip to Africa last year. After the initial shock, her team warmed to the idea of running the show while she was gone. She modeled the behavior and had the trip of a lifetime.
• Build slack into the system: this is a bold idea that sounds expensive for companies but when you invest, it can be a game changer. Seth Godin said: “systems with slack are more resilient”.

For much more detail on why we are addicted to busyness and what to do about it, read on.