Author: MJ Romeo

Have you noticed that talking with someone through a mask is difficult? Since 50% of our body language is communicated through our facial expressions, having a mask cover about 50% of the face severely inhibits our ability to communicate and connect with others and vice versa. It’s maddening.

When wearing a mask, we all need to slow down our cadence to speak more clearly and articulately, really connect through eye contact and put more energy into our voice so that we are speaking louder and with more energy. Trying to understand someone through a mask is especially difficult for those of us with a hearing impairment.

Since it seems that we will be wearing masks for many months to come, make a conscious effort to communicate effectively. Now more than ever we need to lean into kindness, patience and humanity, and truly listen to others.

During this time of disruption due to the pandemic, you’ve probably heard friends and family talk about getting things back to “normal”. I know I have. But what is normal? Maybe instead of yearning to “go back to normal” we embrace this disruptive period and turn it into something positive. When you look back at 2020, will you remember specific positive changes that you have made in your life, your work and/or your relationships? What have you achieved? How have you used your time? Have you learned a new skill, adopted a new, positive habit or made a change at work? Don’t waste this disruption to reevaluate where you are and where you want to go, personally and professionally.

The leaves are starting to change. Happy Fall everyone. As we begin this new season, many of us are kicking off Q4 tomorrow, the last quarter of this really long, Covid-filled year. It has been a struggle for many to keep up with all the change we have faced so far – changes in how we work, where we work or whether we continue to work or not. Changes in how our children are being educated, changes in pretty much every area of our lives. Have you given thought, during this year of change, to your professional self and some areas that you may want to change about yourself? Areas to grow and develop? I often hear from clients about an area that they want to change… they want to develop more gravitas or their managers have told them that they need to develop more gravitas if they want to move up in the organization. More gravitas – what does that mean?

In a coaching conversation the other day, the client used the word GRACE. She was speaking about giving herself grace. She realized that she wasn’t really being gentle with herself, nor was she accepting the challenging realities she is facing as a business owner, wife and mother who is in the middle of a complicated move… all during Covid.

Whether you are working, looking for work, leading a team, hollowed out by this ongoing crisis or just simply exhausted, are you giving yourself grace? Are you showing grace to your family, friends and colleagues? As Covid stretches on and on, it can wear us down without even realizing it. Are you pushing yourself and your teams too hard? Are you practicing self-care? Have you taken a vacation?

Try and extend some grace to yourself and to those around you.

Recently, a client partnered with me to learn how to handle a toxic work
situation, I mean really toxic. The thing is, for various reasons, she was not quite ready to quit her job. What she needed were tools and techniques to get back her own personal power… and she did.

Putting effort into better understanding yourself and your hot buttons, and knowing how you think and how you are perceived by your peers, is incredibly valuable information. Introspection can be powerful. Don’t just rely on how you think you show up – take an assessment and apply what you learn, ask for feedback or input from work colleagues, or work with an executive coach who will guide you and hold you accountable. Whatever path you choose, keep growing as a person and a professional.

Have you given yourself the gift of a few days off since this pandemic
upended our lives in March? I hope so, there is nothing like taking time
away from work (even if you enjoy it) to rest, relax and rejuvenate.

I took last week off and it was fabulous … hiking, kayaking, swimming and
spending time with family renewed my spirit. Be honest, this pandemic is
stressful and it can feel oppressive.

Make sure you do everything you can to take care of yourself and your
family. Remember to laugh, sleep, eat well, do things you enjoy and take
time to for yourself. Maybe even take a few days off! 

When was the last time you heard someone tell you a good story? Think about your colleagues, friends and family – are there any great storytellers in the group?

In business, stories are critical because they persuade, help us understand how things work or why things matter. Many business leaders are accomplished storytellers. I often coach executives on storytelling techniques and just hosted a webinar for 50+ engineers on how tell a story. Of course the perfect form of storytelling is a … joke.

Just ask, and then stop talking and deeply listen. There is so much to learn from asking good questions. It is a bit of an art form, and a skill that executive coaches work hard to develop.

Open questions are the best because they are open. I imagine that sounds basic, but it is so revealing when someone can answer a question the way they want and share what is on their mind or in their heart. When you ask great questions, with a sense of genuine curiosity, you can learn so much. My favorite short open question is just one word, “why?”

For years I have heard the phrase, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak”. That quote has been around since 55AD, credited to Epictetus.

I am a bit embarrassed to admit that it wasn’t until I went to Columbia University to become a certified executive coach that I learned how to really listen. Listening to others is a gift, especially when you listen with a sense of curiosity and an open heart. It can be very powerful. With all that is going on around us, let’s talk less and listen more.

Our resilience is being challenged right now, on so many levels. Whether you are working remotely full-time and trying to juggle family demands, finding yourself unemployed, struggling with what’s happening across the county or laboring to rebuild your company or business, being resilient is critical.

But how do you build resilience? As you go through a change like what we are experiencing now, be open and curious about what matters in the moment, then move forward with a growth mindset. If you’d like to talk this through, reach out anytime.

Take care,
Mary Jo